Keep My Mouth Shut …

I think I need to rename this blog “What My Children Are Teaching Me”.  Because it seems they teach me a heck of a lot more than I teach them.  Most recently I am learning to keep my mouth shut.  Oh don’t worry, I will continue to entertain you by sticking my foot in my mouth on occasion, I’m sure.  

Ever since my son with special needs was born we have received well intended but unsolicited advice.  Everyone has an opinion about everything.  The more my son goes through the more opinions I receive.  We have more doctors, nurses, therapists and teachers  than anyone I know.  Believe me, we get whole bunches upon bunches of actual medical treatments, trials, theories, and plain old random ideas that just might work to cure whatever is currently ailing my son.  One of my son’s many doctors is a specialist in a top ten children’s hospital.  I recently asked for her advice regarding an issue.  This was in her field of study and what she deals with every day.  She was stumped.  I walked away that day without her giving me any answer.  Yet, we have no problem getting answers from the average Joe on the street.  

Then it seems when we don’t take the advice of others we will receive their judgement regarding the choice we do make if they aren’t in agreement with that choice.  I was crying out to God with my frustration about all of this recently.  Pleading for him to please make them understand how they have no idea the stress we live under every single day.  We research every possible idea, every possible medicine, every possible cure, every possible doctor.  We don’t just think, “This will be the most convenient doctor or will be cheaper gas to get here.  Let’s experiment with this on our child.”  It’s pain staking.  We cry.  We stay awake nights.  We argue.  We cling to each other.  We cry out to God for help every single day.  Every. Single. Night.  And on top of that we live with the judgement of others that we aren’t living up to their standards when it comes to raising our child.

So when I finally stopped my screaming rant against God that’s when I heard his voice.  Why is it he doesn’t yell back at me?  He always waits for me to shut up.  Which sometimes takes a while. No comment from the husband, please.  Or maybe he was speaking all along and I just couldn’t hear him above my own voice.  What did I hear?  “JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!!”  In full-on King James version, Ten Commandments movie starring Charlton Heston voice.  I know, that bible verse doesn’t really apply to what I’m talking about here.  It speaks to judging another’s sin.  But that’s what got through my thick skull and woke me to my own sin of loving me and my ideas more than others.

What I am asking others to not do is exactly what I am doing.  The people who choose different schooling for their kids than I do.  Judgement.  The people who choose different medical treatments than I would.  Judgement.  The people who worship differently than I do.  Judgement.  People who [insert the different choice for most anything here].  

There are things that are going to fall into the grey areas of right & wrong.  And there are choices that will be wrong.  I’m sure I will be the one to make some of those wrong choices.  I hope I offer others the same forgiveness and second chances I’ll want.  But those things that are just different than the way I would do them?  Well, I’m learning to keep my mouth shut…

Bible Verse I’m Loving Today:
Ephesians 4:29-32

Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

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