Sink or Swim … (So Why Am I’m Still Sinking?)

I like to swim.  Actually, I loooove to swim.  I even love to just tread water in the deep end of the pool.  All day long swim, swim, swim.  Both, literally and figuratively, I’m pretty good a swimming.  I can do it just fine on my own.  But add a kid and swimming gets a little more difficult.  I can still do it.  I might have to switch to treading water.  Add two kids and some other stuff.  Well, I start sinking like a brick.

If you’ve read previous blogs you know I’ve been doing a little “treading water” for a while now.  It’s been kind of rough with finding the right way for our boy with special needs.  I thought he was headed back to normal or somewhere close.  Well, what is our normal, anyway.  Then he had some medical stuff that has kept us up at night for a couple weeks.  A lot of up being up to check on him at least once, if not more.  Somehow he mostly sleeps through it.  But it makes for some sleepy parents.  Now this week he has decided to kick off all of his covers numerous times in the night and call mom to come and cover him up.  A task I reeeeally wish we could teach him but for whatever reason it isn’t happening.  So, more sleepless nights.  Aaaaand, Dad happened to gone this week. 

It’s no wonder I ended up sick.   If you were wondering, yes, the The Water Horse is real.  She was beached on the couch all week right here in my house.  That’s the movie we watched.  (By the way, it was really good.  And now my 4year old wants his own water horse for a pet.)  I didn’t bother telling my husband I was sick.  He has no trouble calling in the Coast Guard to let them know I’m sinking.  But I knew everyone was off helping other people.  Why bother them when I knew they couldn’t come help anyway?  I’ve said before I don’t like people to know I’m sinking anyway.  Best to take one of every painkiller kidding! in the cabinet & tough it out.  

It’s times like this that remind me when that song about making me broken, Keep Making Me, comes on Christian radio I need to be changing the station with lightening speed.  Do NOT sing along to any song requesting God to make you broken.  He just may follow through with that request and leave you relying on only him!  Yes, I’m kindof, semi- joking.  Relying on only God sounds good in theory.  But when he comes through on that request, look out.  It’s probably not gonna be the easy way.  But when you make it through to the other side and you are able to look back at the plan God had all the while.  Wow.  Just wow. 

I don’t think we are on the other side of God’s big plan just yet.  We were up three times last night with our boy.  (I think it was three.  We lost count at some point.  And my husband and I have both walked straight into a wall on different nights.  Not pretty.)  But we’ve been at this long enough to have been able to look back several times and see the “Hindsight is 20/20” moments, those things God was working together for our good.  We have learned to rely wholly on God through these hard times.  Our motto this time around is “God has a plan.”  We may not know what that plan is right now, but I am confident he won’t let us drown in the deep water.  We are so comforted by the “Wow” things he has done in the past that we know this time he’s up to something big again.

Bible Verse I’m Loving Today:
Romans 8:28

Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

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